Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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