can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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