I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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