Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
