wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize