i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
