I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
