The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
