I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
