it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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