Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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