Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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