hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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