I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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