you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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