just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
