they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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