I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
