And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize