you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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