So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
