i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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