bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
