god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
