he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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