In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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