You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
