One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
