I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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