Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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