Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
