His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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