Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
