I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize