my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
she looked like the before picture.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
