Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
