look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
