im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
