No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
