do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
