Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
