you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There are leaves in my underwear?
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