covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Dignity is for republicans.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
