spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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