I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
