Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
