just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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