Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
