I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
