to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
