Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
