man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I believe in your delicious
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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