Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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