So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
