Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize