thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
