I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize