Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
