You're completely useless in the revolution.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
