now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
