i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
