yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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