please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
