Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
