apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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