You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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