yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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