i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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