Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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