Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
smell my finger.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
