Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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