some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
