So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
