If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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