i don't like sucking hair
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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