I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
