We need to rekindle our bromance
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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