I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
